1. The Breaking
You will feel extreme sadness. You will think that life is just an endless torture. You will imagine how things could’ve been if only. Darkness surrounds you day and night. Some days you feel numb. Other days you just cry. The kind of crying that physically hurts. Like someone’s continuously stabbing you in the heart. Like you’re suffocating, struggling to stay alive. Yet the tears never seem to end. Even the smallest thing is able to trigger another breakdown. You try to be happy, but there is nothing to be happy about. Even just the simple act of smiling becomes tiring. The whole world suddenly seems foreign to you. You’re afraid to leave the house in fear of something. But you don’t know what that something is. You feel so alone. No one understands. No one knows what it’s like. No one cares.
2. The Surviving
The pain eventually eases. Just a little, but not enough to make life enjoyable yet. You feel like a zombie, trudging your way through the day. Things still seem pointless to you, but you can see the light now, so you just follow it for no reason. Occasionally something makes you giggle. You miss how you used to laugh until your belly hurts. How life seemed so carefree back them. What happened? You begin to let people in, because you realise it’s not weak to ask for help when you need it. Some days are better than others. You get hit with an unexplainable sense of exhaustion in the middle of the day, as if simply living drains all the energy out of you.
3. The Healing
It gets easier day by day. You learn that the best way to heal is to let yourself feel. Feel all the emotions that you’ve blocked up for so long. Feel the sadness, the joyfulness. Let it all in no matter what. Cry when you have to. Laugh with the people you love. Our emotions are what makes us human. They help us feel alive. You see the beauty in the world again. You do things that make you feel good. You learn to love yourself for everything that you are. You’re getting better at opening up your heart to people instead of holding it in. You still get bad days, but you know that everything is temporary. You’ve been through darker times before, and you came out stronger than ever.