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More of my words

February 2018 (2)
January 2018 (17)
December 2017 (22)
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Casual daytime look.

Baby hairs trying to contact outer space.

I’m now 50 shades of tan.

Sun kissed glow brought to you by sweat and grease. . 📷 @ymjes5

My friend @nikkohunt mentioned this topic yesterday which got me thinking, so here are my thoughts. On social media, I used to see other people’s photos from travelling during their gap year and wished I could do the same. Well this year, my life took a turn and I unexpectedly got the opportunity to do just that. . I’ll say the cliche things like how I got to meet some amazing people along the way and learnt more about myself. But I also realised that travelling isn’t actually as glamorous as social media makes it out to be (surprise surprise). There will be times when you’ll feel lonely, out of place, or just tired of dealing with the inevitable stress of travelling. So the next time you get jealous of someone else’s life, just remember that pretty photos on social media are never simply what they seem. . I used to dream of having a nomadic, unconventional lifestyle. But to be perfectly honest, after a year of floating around without much purpose, I’m actually craving some structure and stability in life. (My mum would probably be thinking ‘I told you so’ at this point.) . This is not to say that travelling sucks. In fact, had I not had this experience, I would never have come to this realisation. I think there is a time and place for everything. Personally, I’d much rather cosy up with my favourite people, have a good laugh, and talk about the meaning of life. But that’s just me.

These photos show my cellulite, stretch marks, lumps and bumps in full glory. Along with the dent on my right butt cheek from that one time I slipped and fell on my ass in Brighton. If anyone would like to sponsor my butt un-denting surgery, feel free to comment down below and I’ll DM you my bank account details. . All jokes aside, a year ago this girl broke down in front of the mirror because she couldn’t recognise her own body after gaining 30+ pounds in three months. I was so filled with shame and disgust that I refused to leave the house. Now here I am, the heaviest I’ve been my whole life, feeling more confident than ever. For the first time, I am able to spend time on the beach in a bikini with my best friend and not give a damn about how I look. Sure, some days I still feel like a beluga whale. But for the most part, I’ve kicked my eating disorder and body dysmorphia in the ass. . A huge part of that was unfollowing all the accounts that made me feel bad about myself, and following people who encourage body positivity. So this is my effort to show the raw and unfiltered version of me, no matter how tempting it may be to photoshop myself past recognition. (The only skill I’ve learnt from a year of studying architecture.) . I’ve spent my entire life feeling ashamed of myself. I’ve been underweight, overweight, and everything in between. So trust me when I say that your size does not define your happiness whatsoever. I’m done hiding, seeking approval, and fearing judgement. Hopefully so are you. . 📷@ymjes5 (thanks for perfecting my foot placement)

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